Do what thou Will: Love is the Law, Love under Will.
This is the Law of Thelema. But what does it mean?
First of all, what is Love?
Love is, in my opinion, not necessarily an emotion. It may be expressed emotionally and it may be experienced emotionally, but Love itself is not the manner of expression nor is it the experience of the expression.
Love, as I experience it, is a state of mind or Being: an attitude and a manner of perceiving Reality.
The Christian Bible tells us what Love is not “ Love envies not; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks not evil, rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails: but where there be prophecies they shall fail: where there be tongues they shall cease: where there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. (I Corinthians, 13:4-8)
But what does Love DO? How does Love express itself?
In my life I have found that takes several forms of expression. Love can be the simple enjoyment of another. It is the very real appreciation that another is just that – another. That the Other is not and never can be a screen onto which I can project MY expectations. It is the kind of relationship where I positively enjoy the awareness that here, I cannot project. Here, I may simply enjoy and experience the Other.
But this is the pleasant side of Love.
The more difficult way of experiencing Love is when I am in the company of people I do not like or who behave in a manner or have values I struggle to deal with. At times like these I have to step back from what is happening, back from my instinctive reaction, back from my dislike and disapproval. I have to remind myself that this is how it IS. I remind myself not to judge, not to assume that I know what is actually happening or why others choose to behave as they do. In truth, I can never know and so I can only observe with interest and detachment. This is also a form of Love as far as I am concerned.
In personal relationships love is a complex dynamic. Each one of us has our own baggage, our own needs and our own fears. Finding a person with whom these dynamics mesh is – I submit – a bloody miracle. It takes time, effort and real Will. It has to mean something to both people or it has no chance of blossoming. Inevitably the early stages of love are a function of attraction. And nature has a very certain way of ensuring the continuation of the species and makes that initial attraction irresistible. This is not love. It is lust – delightful, delicious, debauched lust. And for so long as the experience is shared, it is fair. But once any form of manipulation creeps in, any form of possession, any form of jealousy, any form of expectation, the trouble starts. And of course we have the role of the ego – especially in the male of the specie. He measures his status by the number of women he has taken to bed, or by the relative physical attractiveness of the women he dates. That is how it is in most instances.
Women’s’ role? I have very little understanding of women and so am not really able to comment. I think women are far more mature than men and can actually see the potential of a relationship long before a man does. Women seem more willing to work at the problems. Men want something new when the problems arise.
It would not be fair to say that men are easily capable of platonic relationships with women. There is always – or in the vast majority of cases anyway - a sexual element. That is how men are made. It is a factory flaw but that’s how it is. But this sexual tension must not be bad-mouthed. It makes for a very interesting situation – especially when the man knows what is happening and is not driven by his groin.
One of the best descriptions of Love of Another was given to me by my partner Sue. We had a dog called Widget. She was an absolute delight and a totally integrated member of our ‘family’. One day she got cerebral bilary (tick-bite fever) and the next day she died. Both Sue and I went into mourning. When we later discussed our feelings, Sue remarked that when you love another creature, you can just pour your love into that creature. You want nothing in exchange- and ironically, you get everything. When that Being is no longer there to receive your Love, you have to close that special channel through which you poured your love - and that hurts. The way people love their pets and the way grandparents love their grandchildren are excellent examples of unconditional love. These examples are also a demonstration of the absolute joy one can experience when such a love is possible.
The greatest love a person can have is for himself or herself. This is, I suspect, a sine qua non for the expression of love in any relationship. It seems to me that only once a person has accepted himself or herself totally can they do so in a relationship and as regards the other. How can one possibly expect to experience the joy of loving another until one loves oneself? And yet we continually judge ourselves, condemn our actions, inactions, thoughts and feelings. Most people seem to have been given an imprint of ‘reject goods’. This so often leads to us projecting these notional inadequacies onto our partner and then having a go at him or her for not being perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. You cannot expect another to fulfil your needs. If they do so and if in so doing they act from a point of integrity and joy in the doing, then you have the elements of a good relationship. It is only in good relationships that one can begin to learn about oneself. Good relationships are based on fundamental honesty – especially honesty with oneself. ‘This above all- to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.’
I have chosen as my personal emblem and symbol of love, the Vesica Pisces. This is a design formed when two circles of the same size overlap. It is important to me because the circles are the same size, they remain independent of each other, neither dominates, both overlap to the same extent and the overlap forms a new, central shape of its own. Here’s a picture of one:
This is the Law of Thelema. But what does it mean?
First of all, what is Love?
Love is, in my opinion, not necessarily an emotion. It may be expressed emotionally and it may be experienced emotionally, but Love itself is not the manner of expression nor is it the experience of the expression.
Love, as I experience it, is a state of mind or Being: an attitude and a manner of perceiving Reality.
The Christian Bible tells us what Love is not “ Love envies not; love vaunts not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily provoked, thinks not evil, rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth, bears all things, believes all things hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails: but where there be prophecies they shall fail: where there be tongues they shall cease: where there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. (I Corinthians, 13:4-8)
But what does Love DO? How does Love express itself?
In my life I have found that takes several forms of expression. Love can be the simple enjoyment of another. It is the very real appreciation that another is just that – another. That the Other is not and never can be a screen onto which I can project MY expectations. It is the kind of relationship where I positively enjoy the awareness that here, I cannot project. Here, I may simply enjoy and experience the Other.
But this is the pleasant side of Love.
The more difficult way of experiencing Love is when I am in the company of people I do not like or who behave in a manner or have values I struggle to deal with. At times like these I have to step back from what is happening, back from my instinctive reaction, back from my dislike and disapproval. I have to remind myself that this is how it IS. I remind myself not to judge, not to assume that I know what is actually happening or why others choose to behave as they do. In truth, I can never know and so I can only observe with interest and detachment. This is also a form of Love as far as I am concerned.
In personal relationships love is a complex dynamic. Each one of us has our own baggage, our own needs and our own fears. Finding a person with whom these dynamics mesh is – I submit – a bloody miracle. It takes time, effort and real Will. It has to mean something to both people or it has no chance of blossoming. Inevitably the early stages of love are a function of attraction. And nature has a very certain way of ensuring the continuation of the species and makes that initial attraction irresistible. This is not love. It is lust – delightful, delicious, debauched lust. And for so long as the experience is shared, it is fair. But once any form of manipulation creeps in, any form of possession, any form of jealousy, any form of expectation, the trouble starts. And of course we have the role of the ego – especially in the male of the specie. He measures his status by the number of women he has taken to bed, or by the relative physical attractiveness of the women he dates. That is how it is in most instances.
Women’s’ role? I have very little understanding of women and so am not really able to comment. I think women are far more mature than men and can actually see the potential of a relationship long before a man does. Women seem more willing to work at the problems. Men want something new when the problems arise.
It would not be fair to say that men are easily capable of platonic relationships with women. There is always – or in the vast majority of cases anyway - a sexual element. That is how men are made. It is a factory flaw but that’s how it is. But this sexual tension must not be bad-mouthed. It makes for a very interesting situation – especially when the man knows what is happening and is not driven by his groin.
One of the best descriptions of Love of Another was given to me by my partner Sue. We had a dog called Widget. She was an absolute delight and a totally integrated member of our ‘family’. One day she got cerebral bilary (tick-bite fever) and the next day she died. Both Sue and I went into mourning. When we later discussed our feelings, Sue remarked that when you love another creature, you can just pour your love into that creature. You want nothing in exchange- and ironically, you get everything. When that Being is no longer there to receive your Love, you have to close that special channel through which you poured your love - and that hurts. The way people love their pets and the way grandparents love their grandchildren are excellent examples of unconditional love. These examples are also a demonstration of the absolute joy one can experience when such a love is possible.
The greatest love a person can have is for himself or herself. This is, I suspect, a sine qua non for the expression of love in any relationship. It seems to me that only once a person has accepted himself or herself totally can they do so in a relationship and as regards the other. How can one possibly expect to experience the joy of loving another until one loves oneself? And yet we continually judge ourselves, condemn our actions, inactions, thoughts and feelings. Most people seem to have been given an imprint of ‘reject goods’. This so often leads to us projecting these notional inadequacies onto our partner and then having a go at him or her for not being perfect. There is no such thing as perfection. You cannot expect another to fulfil your needs. If they do so and if in so doing they act from a point of integrity and joy in the doing, then you have the elements of a good relationship. It is only in good relationships that one can begin to learn about oneself. Good relationships are based on fundamental honesty – especially honesty with oneself. ‘This above all- to thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.’
I have chosen as my personal emblem and symbol of love, the Vesica Pisces. This is a design formed when two circles of the same size overlap. It is important to me because the circles are the same size, they remain independent of each other, neither dominates, both overlap to the same extent and the overlap forms a new, central shape of its own. Here’s a picture of one:
It’s complicate stuff. And now we come to consider the concept of Will – under which Love is supposed to manifest.
Obviously, the suggestion that we act according to our Will, means that we act within our highest purpose. In the Ordo Templi Orientis it is supposed to mean that we act in accordance with the Will of our Higher Guardian Angel – whoever or whatever that might be. I personally know of not one person who has had the much vaunted and sought after Knowledge and Conversation with his Holy Guardian Angel and so I cannot say I know a single person who has knowingly and consciously expressed his or her Will.
So where does that leave us? Does it mean that we do nothing until, hopefully, we have this experience? I think not. Will then, must come to mean that which is fully intended. We Will that which we have carefully thought through and where we have considered the consequences of the planned action. If we form our Will regarding any action and we base this on Love in its fullest sense, then we can have some assurance that we will cause no harm. We will know that we have no right to interfere in the lives of others, not even to Will for them what we believe is for their benefit – perhaps other than to wish them Light.
And so, for those who have not yet had the Knowledge and Conversation with their Holy Guardian Angel and hence the Certainty this experience brings, the formula seems to be reversed: Will is subject to Love.
. . . and that takes us back to where we started. What is Love?
